Last year, after REPEATED begging from our mod (3ltlones), The Bump conceded in finally giving their own loss community a little support in our struggles. We asked for our stories to be heard. They responded with a super tiny link on their home page to a handful of collected stories. The stories were beautiful. They were so hidden, however, that it was basically "us" reading each other's stories and offering support to ourselves, like we did every day.
We're not asking for notoriety or pity or someone to gush over how afwul our history was, but asking to shed a little light on what happens, every day, to SO many women. We want them to know they are not alone, and there are groups for them too!
Please offer your comments and ideas below. We need to band together and tell them what we want and NEED to support the month of October (Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness) and/or October 15 (Pregnancy and Infant Loss Rememberance Day).
8 comments:
TheBump has everything to do with pregnancy, getting pregnant etc. And while I appreaciate the outlet and support we get through the boards alone, I do agree that we do need further mention and articles and awareness about those of us who have lost a baby.
Losing a baby technically yes, is the end of a pregnancy. But for some of us, it is very much a part of our "baby" journey and will always be, that IS why there is a TTCAL & PGAL boards.
I ask, please...honor not just those of us who have lost our baby(ies) but the babies themselves..we cannot yet post our "birth stories" to be shown on your homepage, but with awareness the stigma can be removed and we with our stories on losses and advice can help other women as well. Please, support the community that supports TheBump and support Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness and its Rememberance Day...
-Lovin Life23 a.k.a Kristina, mom to one angel baby, Isabel Justine Avila
Thank you..
I was absolutely naive about pregnancy loss. I believed sure it happens to some women, but I didn't know any, and it sure wasn't going to happen to me. I was healthy and young. Well I was wrong.
It was a devestating blow, and I felt so alone. I started talking about my loss on the Miscarriage Pregnancy Loss board, and later TTC After Loss. As I opened up there, I was able to open up to others around me and was astonished that many women in my life have experienced pregnancy loss. Nobody ever talks about it. Thinking back to the days after my miscarriage, I felt so alone and lost and confused. Women need to talk about this issue. Women need to know that pregnancy loss is real and that many women experience this.
I totally agree. I'd love for our stories to be heard. I think it is a wonderful way to help us grieve and to honor all of our babies (especially those that were lost later in pregnancy and shortly after birth). Come on Bump! Help us out here!
I agree, I would love to see the first page of the bump dedicated to us Moms without children during October or at least on the 15th.
There is unfortunately a huge stigma attached to miscarriages and pregnancy loss. When it happens to you, it's so common to feel like it's your fault, and like it's inappropriate to talk about. But that is so ridiculous! The statistics show that miscarriage is incredibly common, unfortunately.
TTCAL has been a savior for me, as have the friends I have made there. I felt isolated and alone after my loss. If The Bump would help bring awareness in October it would go a long way to helping relieve the stigma attached.
~ Melissa(Missa_g)
Like many woman mentioned, after I lost my son I felt so alone. My husband shared my grief, of course, but somehow it was still different for him. My family did not seem to understand what I was feeling, much less how to approach me and friends and co-workers disappeared because they didn't know what to do or say either. I was a participant on The Bump while I was pregnant, but it became a lifeline to me afterward. I can honestly say that the ladies of MC/PL and TTCAL saved me because of the support that I found. I didn't feel like an outcast any longer - I found a place where I belonged. I think that places like this should be celebrated, not hidden away. Other ladies should know that in the event that something does go wrong, The Bump has resources to turn to. They celebrate life every day of the year - as it should be celebrated - but there should also be one day given over to recognizing loss. Maybe a good approach would be to have a banner on the front page recognizing the day (10/15), then have an article describing what the day represents and the various Loss support boards available.
Thank you - Jertie, mother of Ace who was stillborn 30w5d.
I completely agree with this post and the well-written comments. The Bump needs to help the other moms out there who are suffering in silence. There is nothing worse than feeling alone when you are going through such a horrible, heart-wrenching experience. I don't think I could have survived my miscarriage as well as I did without the support and understanding of the women I found through the bump, and reading their stories through their blogs was a source of comfort and strength for me through the darkest days. I hope the Bump will decide to honor these stories and bring them out into the open so other women can find the loss boards and get the support they need.
I agree that the Bump is about pregnancy and miscarriage can be a part of the pregnancy journey. It is a lot more common than most women think because it's not talked about enough. It should not be hidden just because it may make some feel uncomfortable, it's a part of life and should be represented as such. It should not be hidden in the corner and not talked about. We are members of The Bump too and should be openly recognized as such. Please share our stories and help to dispel the isolation and ignorance that surrounds miscarriages.
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